Kickstart the Year - Start having the year you want right now!

Time Management Ninja +Craig Jarrow
Get a Notebook

There's nothing worse than knowing you wrote that important phone number/ email/ whatever down somewhere but you just can't find it. That frustrating feeling of recalling writing but having NO idea where that miscellaneous piece of paper went. I hate that feeling. I have three places that I keep all my notes. I have a Moleskine journal (I have tons of these on hand for when one gets filled up, I can just grab a fresh one) that lives permanently in my handbag. I also use Evernote. I often say that if I could have a love affair with a piece of software, it'd be with Evernote. Moleskine actually makes a notebook that is compatible with Evernote in very high-tech, fancy ways that I have yet to explore. I hear it's quite fabulous. My favorite thing about Evernote is that it syncs across all my devices. I have it on my phone and it has been wonderful for keeping me organized. 

I also use a steno notebook at my studio. This notebook houses ALL kinds of awesomeness. It's used strictly for work related notes. The Moleskine in my bag is for a wide range of note taking but gets a ton of action just the same.

Ultimately, as much as I love using digital tools for note taking, something about the act of writing on real sheets of paper makes the info & ideas stick in a more retrievable part of my brain. Judging by the massive stack of pretty journals I keep at my bedside table, I'd say that my truest love is beautiful notebooks. Honestly, I dont' know if I'll ever journal in such a quantity as to warrant so many books but that doesn't stop me from buying them. Notebooks, journals, planners, I love them all.

Kickstart the Year - Start having the year you want right now!

Time Management Ninja +Craig Jarrow

Is your anchor holding you down ?
Oh the things that get in the way of task completion or goal achievement. Most of the time, the delays are legitimate, external and often out of our control - weather, clients, vehicles, cashflow, etc. but the rest of the time, the delays are our own doing - procrastination, avoidance, making excuses, etc. I know I've been guilty of all of those things at one time or another. When I use those methods of self-sabotage, I never feel great. I feel pretty rotten, actually. Like a bit of a loser, if I'm being totally honest. When I employ the discipline necessary to focus, channel my best mojo and crank out work I'm proud of in a timeline I am also happy with, then all is right with the world.

I can usually work around the things that are beyond my control but I allow myself to be at the mercy of my fictional limitations and create behaviors to support those limitations. The complaint of "not enough time" is often reinforced by screwing around and wasting time rather than knuckling down and getting shizz done. The illusion of "I don't know how" is effortless perpetuated by NOT gathering the info that supports knowing how or figuring it out. I am really good at making excuses. I can always talk a good game. I'm a master bullsh***er. Honestly. I do it to myself ALL the time. This might be a great time to stop doing that. Or at least do less of it. Get real, quit screwing around, do my best work all the time and be free of limiting beliefs because they are, after all, total fiction.

Facebook & email are my biggest procrastination tools. Starting August 1, 2013 I will be on a FB/email diet. I will be researching software and other tools to facilitate this self-imposed intervention. I'm equally excited and dreading the diet. I will share my thoughts on the experience. Stay tuned.

What's in the Bag - Volume 8

I own two speedlights – Nikon SB900 and SB910.

 The only difference is that the 910 is newer. They put out a TON of juice and after a recent workshop, I've begun a serious love affair with these bad boys. I can rock some super fun lighting setups, which I love because it gives me more creative control in an outdoor or indoor environment where it's quite possible (or kinda guaranteed) that the existing lighting may need a bit of help.

I also love how small & portable these lights are compared to my studio strobes. Now, granted, my preference is to shoot in my studio but I have been incorporating these little powerhouses into a few more of my studio shoots even when I'm using my strobes as primary light sources. The most important thing I can say about speedlights is to get them OFF your camera. On-board flash is never flattering but taking it to either camera right or left and placing it at a 45 degree angle to the subject, NOW we're making some magic! I also use a Lastolite portable softbox with these flashes. It replicates the soft light effect that I love in the studio and I gotta say, being able to bring these effects to location shoots is preety fabulous!

I also purchased Rogue Gels for my flashes. They are extremely cool and fun to play with. I have not spent a huge amount of time getting a feel for all the incredible effects achieved by these gels but just knowing that I can alter the color of the flashes makes me all creative and jiggity!!

Have you ever played with modifying the color of the light you're shooting? If so, how did you change the light color/temperature and what did you think of the results?

Kickstart The Year - Start having the year you want right now!

Time Management Ninja +Craig Jarrow

This program - Kickstart The Year - has helped me to whip myself into shape. This next exercise in particular has precipitated a HUGE change - info to follow.

I worked on this chapter and was astounded by the amount of time in a day that I was giving to either email or Facebook. Stupid Facebook! I now have taken steps to quit handing over my time, my focus and ultimately my productivity ( $$ MONEY $$) to Facebook & Email.

The challenge in this exercise is to check email (when I say "email" throughout this entry, I'll be including Facebook in there) only three times.  Also, turn the email OFF on my cell phone. Then, turn OFF the notifications for email/FB. This was terrifying at first!! The urge to peek is massive. I feel a bit like a junkie!

I actually uninstalled my email app on my phone weeks ago. But for an upcoming personal project A RADICAL SABBATICAL -  THE DIGITAL DIET, I'll be uninstalling Facebook on my phone and installing FB Blocker software on my lap top and work computers for thirty days. I am slightly panicked about being so out of touch for so long but I am doing this as a gift to myself & my family. I can't even tell you the amount of time I spend checking my personal FB, my fan page, my gmail, my work email, the farm email... it's really kind of ridiculous! I will still check email twice a day on the days I'm in the studio only but that's it. Also, I'm imposing this diet on the rest of the family. We will all be putting our electronics (personal gaming systems, cell phones, iPods, etc) under lock & key. They will be released only for legitimate reasons. We currently do not have cable TV and that has been such a blessing. I can't wait to see how this digital diet affects us.

So starting August 1, the best way to reach me is the old fashioned way. On the phone. Facebook will be blocked and my cell phone will have no social media capability. Am I worried? Maybe a little. We have lots of social stuff going on that month  but I am confident that we will manage despite being mostly unplugged.


I want to know, could you do it? Are you willing to go on a RADICAL SABBATICAL - DIGITAL DIET along with me and my family? There's nothing to be scared of, except that maybe you'll like it!!

**disclaimer - I will continue to blog throughout this time and possibly have the occasional Tweet go out but those are all either automated or scheduled. I will NOT be interacting in those media. Wish me luck!!

Enchanting The Lens

Nikon D800 70mm ISO 100 F10 1/160sec

It is always such an honor to work with families who are expecting the arrival of a baby. So much expectation and hope is wrapped up in pregnancy and I do love spending a few hours getting to know the parents and siblings - to freeze this magical time forever. Creating images that convey the connection between parents & their unborn babe is so special and I end each session with a full, happy heart.

First time parents are especially fun to work with. They're excited, eager and mildly terrified. They are close to the date that they get to meet their beautiful offspring and when the stars align just "so", I get to meet that wee one and photograph them shortly after a shoot just like this. Maternity shoots are overflowing with love and that is second only to the intense affection that is evident in a newborn session.

I had a maternity shoot when I was pregnant with my oldest son. I wasn't able to find a photographer that I wanted to work with while pregnant with our youngest but those memories & images remind me of a pretty huge time in my life. A special change in priorities and a wonderful shift in how I lived my life. Beautiful reminders.

Nikon D800 60mm ISO100 F10 1/160sec

Kickstart The Year - Start having the year you want right now!

As part of an ongoing process of increasing my efficiency in home & work related tasks as well as overall personal development, I will be sharing entries that relate to a huge variety of workbooks I purchased at the end of last year called Kickstart The Year. My hope is that these posts will help me overhaul my sense of satisfaction in more areas of my life.
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Time Management Ninja - +Craig Jarrow
This has been a slow but brutally effective series of improvements that I've been applying to my work & life. This chapter is bound to be more of the same. Bring it on!!
Chapter 15- Find a place for your stuff    
I am a HUGE fan of systems and putting things in the same place after each use. But it wasn't always this way. This love of repetition & order was borne of necessity. I hate not being able to find my things. I hate the panic of tearing the house apart in search of something that was JUST RIGHT HERE! In my adulthood, I've cultivated a series of steps to help eliminate forgetfulness and irritating time wasters like lost keys & sunglasses. This is an area where I excel. My husband, however has a lot of work to do in this department. Do I make the system for him and hope to hell he uses it or do we create a system together (and I still hope to hell he uses it?!). For now, this challenge applies to me. I will identify three commonly misplaced things and assign new homes to them. My intention is to eliminate future searches for these things due to their not having a proper, permanent home.

Item 1 :: My point & shoot camera
New Home :: This item will be stored on the bottom shelf of my bedside table. This is the place I store my spare journals & knitting tools. Nobody messes with that stuff. My camera should be rather safe here.

Item 2 :: my ipod/laptop headphones
New Home :: These items will be stored in my jewelry box. I don't use the box often but it is on my bedside table (see reasons above) I will always be able to find my headphones if they are returned to this location after every use.

Item 3 :: my lapdesk
New Home :: I use my lapdesk for most of my longer writing excursions. I will keep it under my side of the bed so that it is always available to me whenever I am sitting down to write. This has been the unofficial home for the lapdesk for the duration of the summer. Now it's official.

While I currently try to maximize this principle with other items, I'm certain that applying it to these few items will help me when sitting down to use these things. I will continue to apply it to other items as well. It works so well the rest of the time, why stop now?!

What's in the Bag - Volume 7

The Nikkor 70-2002.8

The original lens in my bag is an ancient Nikkor 70-210 5.6mm that I came to own around the same time I bought my first DSLR. It had a noisy motor but took incredible images at a massive focal range. This lens is a bit more of an investment. She retails on Amazon for more than $2500 but it is so versatile (especially if you are a wedding photographer!). 

I recently took this bad boy out on a trip with me to photograph the Yukon River Quest – the longest paddling race in the world (740kms!) .I was able to create some great images of the racers leaving the start line and of the very last paddler as he carefully made his way to the finish line. All amazing moments made possible by this seriously badass lens. 

Do you use this lens? I find it super heavy but it does take incredible images!! I want to hear from those of you who use it and what you think of it. 

Enchanting the Lens

Nikon D800 ISO200 65mm F 10

In preparing what I was going to tell you about these images, I didn't really want to bore you with the technical details. However, what I wanted to do was show you a few images from a recent shoot with a naturally gorgeous young woman named Morgan. She is an aspiring hair & makeup artist who truly enchanted my lens. She took direction with grace and her relaxed approach to the task at hand lent so beautifully to the end result.

When I shoot a session that yields photographs like this, they reach deep down inside of me at awaken the truest parts of my artist-self. This is why I do what I do. This is why I photograph women. Everyone possesses beauty just like this. Natural, honest, inarguable. I hope that I get the chance to show more and more women - young and old, slim or not - that their beauty is uniquely perfect and something I would be honored to celebrate with them.

Nikon D800 ISO200 70mm F2.8

KTY | Day 14

I am really good at taking things on. I have a very large plate and it is always very, very full. I am a chronic project starter and LOVE to get new ideas rolling into real plans/campaigns/projects. I also have a hard time pacing myself and saying "NO" to a project when I don't truly have the time to commit to it and to execute it to the best of my ability. I always think, "I'll make it work" or "It won't be THAT time consuming". Famous last words, right?

In this edition of my KTY work, I'm puttering away on the materials offered by Time Management Ninja +Craig Jarrow

In this exercise, I'll be honest about what I need to ditch in my list of commitments. Here we go!
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 There are very few things on my project list that I want to or can afford to ditch. I think I have one monthly commitment that will not be renewed when the time comes. I volunteer a lot. I mean A LOT. I have sat on a handful of boards for years on end. A board of directors is not paid and it is often a thankless job. Non profit organizations cannot run without them but it's not always the most self-loving way to spend my time. In my early board-member years, it was about self worth and volunteerism visibility. It was validation. Now, it's a timesuck. And one I can afford to let go of. Once the AGM rolls around, I'll decline to let my name stand as a director. Plain & simple.

My hobbies are few but I can definitely commit to two things. Not to add on any new ones and to not spend any money on hobby-related materials until I use up what I have. Thankfully, that's not much and I want to keep it that way.

In order to commit to this I had to do two things - I had to say it out loud to my husband who is the one person I can be totally truthful without filtering anything ever. The second thing was to get real with myself about retail therapy and how ridiculous a notion that is. I will stop spending money needlessly on things I do not need. No more purchases to improve my mood. That's silly. Spend time doing things I love, now there's some REAL therapy.

What's in the Bag - Volume 6

The Nikkor 10-24mm 3.5-4.5 lens

This lens does NOT get a lot of play. It's a wide angle lens that is just a bit too bendy for portraits. Well, for close ups, anyway. I have used it when I want to tell the story of the location but being a wide angle lens, it distorts headshot style portraits in a weird and awkward way that I don't care for. Plus, the bulk of my shooting is done in the studio and this is not a great lens for that kind of environment.

However, I do live in a spectacular location – Whitehorse Yukon – where the landscape is unforgettably beautiful and immensely photograph-able. There are numerous landscape photographers in my area who can attest to that! So for outdoor shoots like family or kids portraits, it is a fun one to use now and then to create a sense of scale and to celebrate the environment. I normally only shoot on location at our family farm – Sourdough Sodbusters- which is my favorite outdoor location because I know the layout so well as well as the path of the sunlight & shadows. Not to mention that I have a number of sets laid out in various spots on the property to create a variety of photos for my clients.

All in all, this is a great lens to have if you're a portrait shooter who wants to be able to grab a bunch of the environment in some of the shots. It's essential as a landscape photographer.

Do you have this lens? If so, what are your thoughts on it?

Enchanting the Lens

Do you ever meet someone and know immediately that they are exceptional? That they are young but still accomplishing great things? That happened to me earlier this year when these two beautiful sisters came into my studio. In 2012, Whitehorse hosted the Arctic Winter Games. When the events had concluded, I offered the gold medal athletes the opportunity to be photographed as my thanks to them for working hard and making Whitehorse proud.

Nikon D800 ISO100 48mm f8 1/160sec

Both of these girls are gold medal athletes! They are lovely, soft spoken and very friendly girls who clearly can perform under pressure whether in competition or in front of the camera. They are honestly as sweet as they seem in these photos. Their mama, who is one of the most incredible, funny women I know is obviously very proud of her girls and I hope she pats herself on the back for a job well done every single day. Blessed all around.

These portraits were done in the studio with my 86" PLM and an Alien Bees B800 strobe. This is easily my favorite studio lighting setup because of the soft wraparound effect of the large umbrella. It makes everybody look gorgeous!

Nikon D800 ISO100 60mm F11 1/160sec

Nikon D800 ISO100 70mm F11 1/60 

What's in the Bag - Volume 5

 

Allow me to introduce you to my new love. My 24-70mm 2.8 lens is my new favorite sweetheart lens. It is such a useful lens for portraits and particularly rocks in a close-up, full frame head-shot style portrait. It captures rich, stunning color and has been an absolute treat to add to my kit. This lens is absolutely an investment (around a thousand dollars) but is worth its weight in gold.

To be honest, I'm still in the honeymoon phase with this lens so I haven't yet found anything I don't love about it. The only challenge I've had so far is that (after forgetting to order a UV filter when I bought the lens) I am still filter-less and the local camera shop which is closing, so that stresses me out when I'm shooting. Need to remedy this ASAP!

• sidenote : I use a UV filter on every single lens I own. Especially because I hate lenscaps so the filter protects the glass of the lens. That's it.

Now, I ought to tell you that this is one of two lenses in my bag that is not a Nikkor lens. I actually bought a Sigma. I decided to do this knowing that this lens was going to spend most of its life in the studio and not being used & abused outside in the elements thus rendering the Nikkor casing overkill. Plus it saved me about a thousand bucks.

Do you have this lens? How do you use it and what do you love or hate about it?

Beauty Boutique Babes

At a recent event held at our local Shoppers Drug Mart Beauty Boutique, I had the privilege of photographing the amazing team who I see and work with regularly. These girls are exceptional with their customer service, product knowledge and makeup application. If you're lipstick challenged (like me and only wear nude gloss) or have a mascara crisis, they can HOOK YOU UP! Here they are::

Amberley - Manager

Teri

Emily

Kiko

Natasha

Olga

KTY | Day 13

I think it's entirely possible that I've bitten off more than I can chew with my attempts to blog regularly but I also know that I have a nasty habit of making things much harder than they need to be.

I make up these silly rules and goals that are often both arbitrary and unrealistic. They are generally designed by my inner-critic who thrives on pointing out my shortcomings and failures. Missing blogging for a few weeks has been fodder for endless  negative self-talk. Enough of THAT!

In an effort to streamline my huge list of projects & tasks (some are loved more than others and some are just designed to be important task avoiders) I am having another kick at the can. But nonetheless, I do enjoy writing about my photography business, about personal development, art, crafts, my crazy-ass family and everything in between. So let's get on with the show.
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TMN - Day 12 | +Craig Jarrow

What did I stretch today? This is an EASY answer. Not only did I totally rock our homeschool plan for the day with boy-wonder, I also managed to schedule blog posts. Blogging & me is a very on-again/off-again thing. I love the idea of it, get stuck with the tedium in the content generation. But recent exercises relating to getting super clear, being super real and forgiving myself when something goes sideways (like not blogging for a month) I just get up, dust myself off, smooch my injured self-esteem and get right back at it. I know that with a higher level of commitment and a deeper clarity with my content, I'll be eager to write & share. That's the goal.

What I learned about myself and my inner strength is that I have an infinite amount of patience when called upon to do so. I am immensely invested in my kids' education and am the perfect teacher for boy-wonder (who needs patience, a willingness to listen and a wicked sense of humor). I learned that he is grateful and will excel in that environment. Parenting WIN!

The self-imposed limits that I still need to challenge pertain to my business. I have money blocks that come up regularly. I am well on my way to reaching a good place with my relationship to money and am eager to get there. I am looking forward to living a life that is closer to my dream rather than the one that is full of limiting beliefs.

Graduation Joy

So many families have spent the last few weeks celebrating with their kids as they complete high school and participate in all the graduation festivities. These are just a few who I had the good fortune of meeting at a special event at our local Shoppers Drug Mart Beauty Boutique.

these two ladies were taking advantage of an opportunity for some skin care and a makeover. A fabulous pair of besties who've just moved out together. What a fun day this was!!

If you see your photo in this blog post, you're welcome to use it as your Facebook avatar or on another social network. Just be sure to attribute the image to Vanessa Falle Photography and tag my fan page. Please do not crop or edit images in any way.

Enchanting the Lens

Now, I'm not a fashion photographer per se, but I do have a background in fashion. One of my first businesses was in fashion design. It was a fabulous, fun and creative job but not something that has a huge influence in my life now. However, lots of inspiration for my photography does originate in the fashion scene.

I was hired to shoot some fashion-type photos for local clothing store, Sandors. These two beauties are twin sisters (one of whom works in the shop). The owner gave me his list of priorities for the shoot and the rest - the creative bits- were up to me.

I had just recently acquired some new lighting equipment & modifiers and was eager to put them to use so we converted a corner of the shop into an impromptu studio. I went in with a plan of how I would highlight the various products as requested by the owner and also utilizing the models' natural beauty to compliment the clothing & accessories.

Nikon D800 ISO100 65mm F8 1/160sec

Angles (specifically triangles) are particularly compelling elements to include in a photograph - especially a portrait type of photo. Bodies take on this shape naturally so this is what I'm highlighting here. These angles direct the eye and tell you where to look.

Nikon D800 ISO100 38mm F10 1/160sec

Of course, with jewelry like this, the best way to showcase all that detail is to go macro. I used my 60mm 2.8 Macro lens to create this image.

Nikon D800 ISO100 70mm F13 1/160sec

I wanted this shoot to feel edgy, urban and modern. I am super happy with how the shoot turned out and so is my client but I would love to know what you think. Which image do you like or dislike and why? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

England and Scotland and France, Oh my!

We've been home for almost five weeks from our unbelievable trip to Europe. This trip was a ten-years-late honeymoon. Yep, you read that right - I'm celebrating my 10th anniversary this year and as a reward for our hard work over the past decade and having overcome ALL kinds of obstacles, we went on a crazy fun trip for 17 days. No kids, no work, just me, my fabulous husband and my very best friend in the entire world. Could it have been any better?? No, not for a second!

We left Whitehorse on April Fool's Day (got pranked en route by the aforementioned bestie) and got on our way. Flights were long, airport security was airport security but the fun that awaited us was far greater than we could have imagined. We made our home base in Brooke's (the bestie) flat in London and everything happened from there.

We met colorful locals (and you think the Yukon has a colorful 5%?!? - go to London sometime!) ate lots of bland British food and drank LOTS of fantastic British beer. We saw Les Mis, shopped in amazing boutiques near Camden Market, ran a marathon in Blackpool (it was well-timed and flat but a WACKY location!!) in 5hrs 42mins then went to Scotland where I got to cross of a BIG bucket list item that I've wanted to do my whole life - I spent 3 1/2 hours exploring Urquhart Castle on Loch Ness in a wee town called Drumnadrochit near Inverness. It was a very pivotal experience in my life and I'm sure the hugeness of it will still be sinking in for years to come.

We ate LOTS of haggis (which is absolutely fantastic!) and drove through the countryside of Scotland as well as the stunning landscape of the Scottish Highlands along the west coast. We explored an exhibit of some of the filming of Skyfall!! and stopped at a crazy-old, kooky inn called The Drover's Inn and ate yes, you guessed it - MORE haggis!

We stopped in Edinburgh for a night and went on a creepy tour of the dungeons of  Edinburgh and received a highly entertaining history education (yeah, there might have been a bit of screaming and Brooke & I might have hit the deck when a spooky dummy fell from the ceiling). There are photos to prove it. More haggis was consumed at a local pub and we made our return to London because Brooke & I had a very important Flying Trapeze class to attend in Woolwich. Terrifying, liberating and ridiculously fun. So much fun that Brooke enrolled in a 4-week flying trapeze class this summer. Ask me if I'm jealous.

We also visited Paris for a few days because we were too close to NOT visit Paris. That city is old and stinky but once we hooked up with one of Brooke's colleagues who is a native Parisian, we found ourselves in a quaint restaurant, receiving top-notch service and even better food. Foie gras, where have you been all my life?!? Naturally, we saw the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame and L'arc du Triomphe. But the highlight was the LoveLocks bridges. Long story but one that changed me forever. Hours spent searching for one single lock among thousands. We found what we were looking for and shared our story with those who placed that lock on the bridge. I'll elaborate later. The story makes me cry.

Now that we're home, my life seems so whole, so meaningful and so very rewarding. I am eager to return to the land my ancestors are from (Scotland) but am also so very ready to see more of the world. Many fundamental shifts inside of me happened during this trip and many self discoveries are still unfolding. It's a very deep and beautiful process. I think whatever is coming up next in my life plan will be delicious and magnificent.

 

On Mother's Day

About seven years ago, I had to send a very difficult letter to someone I love very much. It was a letter asking them to not contact me anymore. For years, this person had been very hurtful to me - their words & actions selfish, cruel and very painful to be on the receiving end of. Blame, judgement, and manipulation that broke my heart on every possible occasion. The letter took me all day to write after a very heated phone call. It was a long time coming, this letter. I didn't want to have to write a letter like this one but in my heart, I knew that I needed to protect the parts of me that were not yet harmed by the actions of someone whose own hurt from a life of victim-thinking.

The person I wrote that letter to was my mother. It was the most difficult thing I've ever done. It was harder than laying my Granny (my favorite person in the world) to rest, it was harder than when my oldest son's birth father left me when I was six months pregnant, it was harder than accepting the fact that my brother's schizophrenia diagnosis meant that the ideal of my brother that I hung onto from childhood was gone forever.

But writing that letter was something that I needed to do out of respect for my own right to be treated well and to model to my children where the boundaries lay for what I will and won't accept in my life. However, I now do not have any communication with my mom. Not ever. But that means she's respecting my request. It also means that when I said "until you can treat me with kindness & respect, I can't know you," maybe nothing has really changed.

Today is Mother's Day. My husband brought me the prettiest breakfast in bed, my youngest son hugged & kissed me and wished me a  happy Mother's Day. My oldest (14years) is sound asleep still but when he wakes up, he'll have something nice to say. He usually does. I won't be hearing from my mom and I won't be calling her. Is it out of stubbornness? No. It is out of a sense of self preservation. Dont' think that I haven't given her thousands of chances. I have. I can remember most of them. Some dating as far back as my primary school years. That's not a great feeling to carry with you when thinking of your mother. I wish she was the mom who would send me flowers at random, or a pretty card in the mail (without the religious content being shoved down my throat), lunches together or special trips. Or, in truth, just a hug that felt totally sincere or a kind word like "you're beautiful" or "I'm proud of you" or on a day like today "You're such a good mom".

I accepted a long time ago that she can't be the mom I wish she was. I am entirely ok with that, I just wish she'd be willing to take responsibility for her part in our relationship and be motivated to take steps to fix it just a little. I would give it another chance if I thought she'd sincerely do some work on herself too. Seems fair.

But all that aside, she's not perfect, I'm not perfect. We may not speak and our differences may keep us from repairing the damage that the years have done. I don't know. But what I do know is that she's my mama. The only one I ever had. I do love her. I miss her. I just wish we could find some middle ground. Respect and kindness don't seem like too much to ask for. I hope she's getting breakfast in bed today from her husband. I absolutely love who I am and while that's due in part to years of hard work done by me, she DID raise me and for that I am grateful.

She taught me to be creative, how to make a humble home feel beautiful, how to make fabulous food for my friends & family, how to sew, a few botched attempts at driving stick in high school, about makeup, a few awkward conversations about boys and about friends. I have innumerable memories of a beautiful childhood. I hang onto that dearly. Happy Mother's day, mom.

Miss you.

What's in the Bag - Volume 4

The very first lens I owned. The Nikkor 35-70mm 2.8 lens which came with my original Fuji S2 (bought second-hand from a friend) was the only lens I had for the first few years as I got to know my camera. It was my first foray into shooting with something a little fancier than a point-and-shoot. It was a long road of trial and error but a journey I was quite happy to take.

While it does have a few limitations (the focal range isn't very long and the autofocus motor is getting a little loud) it will still do whatever I ask it to. It is no longer the first lens I reach for as I very much prefer the sharpness and color vibrance that I get with my newer prime lenses but this is still a winner. However, my exact lens is showing signs of age and is in need of replacing. It's the next lens on my to-buy list.

When my clients ask me for camera advice, I often recommend this kind of lens for a starter lens. Especially for those who want to photograph people rather than landscapes. You can't go wrong with a zoom lens within this range. I mean, you CAN shoot landscapes but the zoom isn't very significant. You'd be better off with a 70-200mm at least but that's for another post.

You can pick up one of these lenses for your own kit for a few hundred dollars. It is such a handy lens to have.

Do you have this lens? How do you like it? Is it a lens you reach for often or does it gather dust? Tell me what you think of this piece of gear!

See you soon,

Vanessa

What's in the bag - Volume 3

Alright, now that you know what I use for a camera body (read that post here), lets look at the different lenses. In my very first post, you'll notice that my list of lenses is pretty long. Only one of those lenses is a wide-angle and the rest are just fantastic for portraits. I have made my last few lens purchases very thoughtfully, with very specific kinds of shooting in mind.

The first lens I'd like to talk about is my Nikkor 50mm 1.4. This was my go-to lens for a very long time. I had the Nikkor 50mm 1.8 for about a year but knew that it had limitations that the 1.4 could easily overcome. When I shoot either in the studio or on my farm, there are fewer things in an image that make my heart pitter-patter like the buttery soft bokeh that only a 1.4 (or lower) can really achieve.

When photographing little ones, not being distracted by background elements is essential for how I shoot and I can best achieve this with my 1.4. I am also able to get quite close to my subject without losing focus or sharpness. Now, it is a prime lens (no zoom) so when I need to get closer or farther away, I “zoom with my feet”. I adore the image quality of this lens and the way it performs in lower-light environments when I'm relying on ambient (available) light.

When used on a full-frame camera, this lens closely represents images similarly to how the eye sees. This is another reason why I love this lens. Also, it's itty-bitty so when working in close quarters, its low profile is super handy. And for folks who are intimidated by being in front of the camera, this is a nice lens to start with because it is not as scary looking. Although, I do have to get all up in their grill a bit more without the zoom function but I certainly don't start a session that way. We ease into me working within their personal space – I ask permission to get close and I always respect their answer :) It's a privilege to be invited into someones “bubble” and it's something I take very seriously.

Trust is a hugely important element when photographing anybody- especially kids. This lens has always been a favorite and I can predict its abilities and limitations every time I use it. I have a new lens on my camera at the moment (I'll elaborate in a future post) but my heart really belongs to the 50mm 1.4.

Do you have a favorite lens? I'd love to know what it is and why. Is it the low profile that you like or is it the quiet auto-focus motor? Is it the way it rocks a long exposure when shooting the Northern Lights or is it how it allows you to get super close to a Grizzly bear without actually taking your life into your own hands?? Tell me all about it!! I want to know :)

See you soon

Vanessa